I've been everywhere,Man.

This was actually a very popular song. But the lyrics must be read VERY FAST for full effect.
(without ANY mistakes or hesitations. So take a deep breath and enjoy! It can be found at The
FORUM
http://chapelhillherald.blogspot.com/

I've Been Everywhere (In Texas) as recorded by Brian Burns
I was toting my pack along a dusty Amarillo road
when along came a semi with a high canvas-covered load
He said if you're going to Amarillo I'll give you a ride.
So I climbed up into the cab and I settled down inside.
He asked me if I'd seen a road with so much dust and sand
and I said "listen Bud, I've traveled every road in this here land"

I've been everywhere, man
I've been everywhere, man
I've crossed the deserts bare, man, breathed the mountain air, man
Travel I've had my share, man
I've been everywhere

I've been to:
Waco, Hico, Hondo, Navasota, Winnsboro, Jacksboro, Hillsboro, Santa Rosa, Austin, Houston, Galveston, Texarkana, Frisco, Buffalo, Conroe, Corsicana, Goliad, Groesbeck, Glen Rose, Red Oak, Post Oak, Live Oak, Lone Oak, no joke

I've been everywhere, man
I've been everywhere, man
I've crossed the deserts bare, man, breathed the mountain air, man
Wind blowing in my hair, man
I've been everywhere

I've been to:
Kruegerville, Pflugerville, Van Horn, Val Verde, Bracketville, Bartleville,
Beeville, Bulverde, Bear Creek, Cedar Creek, Mill Creek, Mineola, Maypearl,
Monahans, Telephone, Tuscola, Red Water, Round Rock, Round Top, Round Lake, Sour Lake, Southlake, Spring Lake, for pete's sake

I've been everywhere, man
I've been everywhere, man
I've crossed the deserts bare, man, breathed the mountain air, man
Drove my tires bare, man
I've been everywhere

I've been to:
Greenville, Gatesville, Gainesville, Alameda, Kerrville, Kelleyville,
Bastrop, and I've been to Somerville, Smithfield, Stephenville, Prairie View,
Lukenback, Longview, Plainview, Idalou, Justin, Joshua, Panorama, Pasadena, Angelina, Anareina, see what I mean now

I've been everywhere, man
I've been everywhere, man
I've crossed the deserts bare, man, breathed the mountain air, man
Lots of wear and tear, man
I've been everywhere

Now let me see I've been to:
Valley Mills, Pine Mills, Dime Box, Duncanville, New Home, New Hope, New Deal, Liberty Hill, Rockport, Rock Creek, Bridgeport, Brownwood, Cleburne, Comanche, Cut-N-Shoot, Cottonwood, Bayview, Bayside, Baytown, Bay City, Falls City, Center City, Bridge City, what a pity

I've been everywhere, man
I've been everywhere, man
I've crossed the deserts bare, man, breathed the mountain air, man
Travel I've had my share, man
I've been everywhere

Yeah when it comes to Texas, friends
I've been everywhere

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FIRST SKYDIVE

  FIRST SKYDIVE

MACHO MAN’S REAL THOUGHTS

　

　

Well here I go. Whoosh! Dang what happened to the plane. Oh! there it is a way up

there.(already?) And what is that almighty screaming. The wind! The wind! It must be

100 m.p.h. up here. The ground is coming up awfully fast. Oh! Hell, Pull the string, Pull

the string, you fool. String, what the heck is a string.

Now I remember, just like they taught me in diving, do it just like they taught me. I don’t think I have time to repeat things to myself. No, I don’t. I don’t. Man, Look at that ground. I think I shouldn’t look at the ground. I think they told me that. It can hypnotize you. But it’s getting so big.

O.k. o.k. I’m going to die! I am going to die! Wait, get a hold on.

Think! Think! I may hit that stupid ground but I not going to die. I may make a huge

circular splatter but I guarantee you I am not going to die. I am going to jump right up and scream “I’m alive” “I’m alive” I bet no one will believe that. I bet no one has done

that one before.

Pull the string! Pull the string! Who in the crap keeps saying that

.

It’ me keeps saying that, you idiot! O.k. O.k. Crap. where is it? Did I put one on when I

dressed for this stupid........ What is the plane doing going around and round. God It’s

me. I’m spinning. They told me not to do that. I’m dead. Now I’m dead for sure!

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray.... No , No I’m not laying me down to sleep. I’m

walking in some still water with some sheep. Crap, now I know it’s all over. I can’t

even remember a decent prayer.

It’s all ooooooverrrrr but the crying. Who sings that? Is it Merl Haggard. No, No it’s Roseanne Barr. You idiot Roseanne Barr doesn’t sing country, She hates country. It is Merle Haggard.or somebody like that. I don’t know.

I don’t know. What do you want from me? I’m not a frigging country and western expert.

I just want to go home. I’m tired of this game. I want my mother and I want to go to bed

and get up and go to Sunday School and shake hands with the preacher and watch the

Cowboys throw 5 more interceptions and watch Sunday night at the movies and call my

girlfriend and shake hands with somebody.

Uh, Hey man, Hey!

Yeah, what is it? Uh, There’s a little matter here we need to discuss.

What do you want?. Can you see I’m busy? Buzz off.



Man, you gonna be buzzing if you don’t pull that string. Oh, Crap, That’s right, what am I doing? What am I doing? Crap! What is it now? The frigging string is blowing

behind me and I can’t catch it. What? The string. I can’t catch it. What can I do now?

Come on, big mouth, what do I do now?

Well, I don’t know what you are going to do now, but I know what I am going to do now. I’m going to leave your butt when we get about six feet from the ground. And that don’t look to be very long from here.

PLOP! God, is that what it feels like. I just died and I only felt a little jerk. I did it!

I did it! I hit the ground and I’m still alive. Boy, that mind power stuff really works!

But something is wrong. I’m still above the ground. I know! I know! I died and this is my spirit, rising to meet the angels.

You idiot! You nincompoop, Your emergency chute just opened!

What?

Don’t you see that big chute billowing over your head? You’re still falling but a helluva lot slower. Oh, yeah I see it now. Then I will live and I’m not dead and I don’t have to watch the Cowboys throw 5 interceptions in one game and I don’t have to go to Sunday School and I can call all my friends and go play pool and I don’t have to call that girl and......

I hit the ground, feet first in awe at how good I was. The follow up truck comes screeching up, people jumping out and asking was it scary. I gather my chute

and walk toward the truck. Very calmly I crow “PIECE OF CAKE”

Now all I have to do is go find Mr. Whiffle, the Charmin tissue man.

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FREE!! Hundreds Of Cookies Recipes - Instantly

FREE!! Hundreds Of Cookies Recipes - Instantly!

I love Cookies! I Love Cookies! I love Cookies! and its nearly  Yum! Yum! and I can't think of any possible cookie thats not on this list. LOOK! (EAT YOUR HEART OUT) But you can have all these. Check it out DON'T MISS THE BOAT!!! Scroll down JOIN AS MEMBER and I will send the full recipes.

1-2-3 Cookies 7 Layer Cookies Allie Nelson's Famous Snickerd oodle Cookies Almond Crescent Shortbread Amish Sugar Cookies Andies Candies Cookies Angel Crisps Angenets Applesauce Cookies Apricot Fold-Overs Aunt Edy's Molasses Crinkles Auntie Linda's Ginger Gems Bakeless Dream Cookies Banana Drop Cookies Best Chocolate Chip Cookies in the World Biscotti Biscotti Blueberry Cookies Boiled Chocolate Oatmeal Drop Cookies Bronwnies Brown Sugar Shortbread Brownie Cookies Brownie Delight Brownies Buccaneer Snowballs Buried Cherry Cookies Butter Cookies Butter Nut Balls Butterballs Butterscotch Haystacks C.O.P. Cookies Candy Cane Cookies Candy Cookies Caramel Shortbread Cheesecake Brownies Cherry Buns Cherry Crowns Cherry Winks Chewies Chewy Noels Chinese Chews/Haystacks Chocolate Chip Cookie Bars Chocolate Chip Cookies Chocolate Chip Meltaways Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Cookies Chocolate Christmas Trees Chocolate Cream Cheese Squares Chocolate Crinkles Chocolate Mint Snow-Top Cookies Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies (no bake) Chocolate Snowball Cookies Chocolate Streusel Bars Chocolate Sundae Cookies Chocolate Walnut Crumb Bars Choco-Scotch Crunchies Choose A Cookie Dough Recipe Christmas Crackers Christmas Crunch Bars Christmas Ginger Snaps Christmas Macaroons Christmas Mice Cookies Christmas Shaped Cookies Church Window Cookies Coconut Cookies Congo Squares Cookie in a Jar Corn Flakes Cookies Cornflake Christmas Wreaths Cowboy Cookies (oatmeal) Cream Cheese Cookies with Apricot Filling Crème De Menthe Chocolate Squares< /FONT> Crème Wafers Crescent Cookies Crispy Crunchies Date Nut Balls Date-nut


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Mom's Old Fashion "Puffy" Sugar Cookies Monster Cookies Moravian Christmas Cookies Nana's Famous Soft Southern Cookies Nitey Nite Cookies No Bake Chocolate Cookies No Bake Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies No Bake Cookies No Bake Cookies No Bake Peanut Butter Cookies


No-Bake Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies No-Bake Cookies Norwegian Sugar Cookies Nut Balls Oatmeal Bars Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Nut Cookies Oatmeal Coconut Crisps Oatmeal Cookies Oatmeal Scotchies Old Fashioned Sugar Cookies Ooey Gooey Caramel Chocolate Dunk Ooey Gooey Squares Orange Slice Cookies Parking Lot Cookies Peanut Blossoms Peanut Butter Bars Peanut Butter Blossoms Peanut Butter Cereal Cookies Peanut Butter Chewies Peanut Butter Chocolate Bars Peanut Butter Cookies Peanut Butter Cookies Peanut butter fingers Peanut Butter Reindeer Peanut Butter Surprises Peanut Marshmallow Cookies Pecan Puff Cookies Peppermint Snowballs Peppernuts Persimmon Cookies Persimmon Cookies Petey's Yummy Spicy Almond Thins Pfeffernuesse Pffefferneuse Cookies Pineapple Filled Cookies Pizzelle s Potato Chip Cookies Potato Flake Cookies Praline Cookies Praline Strips Pterodactyl Nests Pumpkin Bars Pumpkin Bars Pumpkin Chip Cookies Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies Pumpkin Cookies Queen Biscuits Quick Cookies Raised Sugar Cookies Raisin Filled Oatmeal Bars Raspberry Meringue Bars Really Peanutty Butter Cookies Reese`s Brownies Reese's Peanut Butter Bars Rich Flavor Christmas Cookies Rich Lemon Bars Ricotta Cheese Cookies Royal Almond Christmas Bars Rudolph Cinnamon Cookies Russian Tea Cookies Russian Teacakes Samantha & Kelsey's Chocolate Chip Cookies Sand Art


Brownies Santa Claus Cookie Pops Santa Claus Cookies Santa's Butterscotch Melts Santa's Shorts Santa's Special Squares Scotch Cakes Scotch Shortbread Scotcharoos Scotcheroos Seven Layer Cookies Short Bread Cookies Shortbread Skor Squares Snicker Doodle Cookies Snickerdoodles Snickerdoodles Snow Balls Sour Cream Apple Squares Sour Cream Christmas Cookies Special K Cookies Spice Cookies Spicy Oatmeal Raisin Cookie Spritz Cookies Stained Glass Window Cookies Stir & Drop Sugar Cookies Sugar Cookies Sugar Cookies Sugar Cookies Swedish Pepparkakor (Pepper Cake) Cookies Swedish Sugar Cookies Sweet Marie's Swiss Treats Taralle (Italian Cookies) Tea Time Tassies Texas Brownies The Best Shortbread in The World Thumbprint Cookies Thumbprint Cookies Toffee Squares Traditional Christmas Sugar Cookies Traditional Gingerbread Men Cookies Triple-Chocolate Chip Cookies Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookies Vanilla Waffer Balls Walnut Butter Cookies Walnut Crumb Bars White Chip Chocolate Cookies Wild Oatmeal Cookies Will's Famous Apple Jack Cookies Yummy Yummy Peanut Butter Blossoms

Please  join as member and I  will send you all these cookie recipes.When you click on the cookie you like it will give you the recipe, INSTANTLY. Your e-mail address is private and I will not share it with anyone.
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ENJOY!
LEO PONDER
The only thing i love more than cookies is different kinds of cookies!


Thanks
The Cookie Man

I DIDN'T KNOW!! SIMPLY AMAZING!!

Source: OurAmazingPlanet.com: Infographic: Tallest Mountain to Deepest Ocean Trench

I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!!

From Comic@superkids.com Bank robber John Dillinger played professional baseball. If you toss a penny 10000 times, it will not be heads 5000 times, but more like 4950. The heads picture weighs more, so it ends up on the bottom. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher. The housefly hums in the middle octave, key of F. If your eyes are six feet above the surface of the ocean, the horizon will be about three statute miles away. The longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. The only other word with the same amount of letters is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconioses, its plural. Hydroxydesoxycorticosterone and hydroxydeoxycorticosterones are the largest anagrams. Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula." Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots The band Duran Duran got their name from an astronaut in the 1968 Jane Fonda movie "Barbarella". Cleo and Caesar were the early stage names of Cher and Sonny Bono. Ben and Jerry's send the waste from making ice cream to local pig farmers to use as feed. Pigs love the stuff, except for one flavor: Mint Oreo. The company providing the liability insurance for the Republican National Convention in San Diego is the same firm that insured the maiden voyage of the RMS Titanic. Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer. Dr. Samuel A. Mudd was the physician who set the leg of Lincoln's assassin John Wilkes Booth...and whose shame created the expression for ignominy, "His name is Mudd." The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds. The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin during World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo. Wilma Flintstone's maiden name was Wilma Slaghoopal, and Betty Rubble's Maiden name was Betty Jean Mcbricker. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 The Ramses brand condom is named after the great pharaoh Ramses II who fathered over 160 children. If NASA sent birds into space (inside a space capsule, that is), they would soon die because they need gravity to swallow. Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors. The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life". It was discovered on a space mission that a frog can throw up. The frog throws up its stomach first, so the stomach is dangling out of its mouth. Then the frog uses its forearms to dig out all of the stomach's contents and then swallows the stomach back down again. Armored knights raised their visors to identify themselves when they rode past their king. This custom has become the modern military salute. White Out was invented by the mother of Mike Nesmith (Formerly of the Monkees). Sylvia Miles had the shortest performance ever nominated for an Oscar with "Midnight Cowboy." Her entire role lasted only six minutes. Charles Lindbergh took only four sandwiches with him on his famous transatlantic flight. Goethe couldn't stand the sound of barking dogs and could only write if he had an apple rotting in the drawer of his desk. If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. Gilligan of Gilligan's Island had a first name that was only used once, on the never-aired pilot show. His first name was Willy. The skipper's real name on Gilligan's Island is Jonas Grumby. It was mentioned once in the first episode on their radio's newscast about the wreck. In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak. Playing cards were issued to British pilots in WWII. If captured, they could be soaked in water and unfolded to reveal a map for escape. The "L.L." in L.L. Bean stands for Leon Leonwood. Ivory bar soap floating was a mistake. They had been overmixing the soap formula causing excess air bubbles that made it float. Customers wrote and told how much they loved that it floated, and it has floated ever since. Studies show that if a cat falls off the seventh floor of a building it has about thirty percent less chance of surviving than a cat that falls off the twentieth floor. It supposedly takes about eight floors for the cat to realize what is occurring, relax and correct itself. [Who figured this out?!] The saying "it's so cold out there it could freeze the balls off a brass monkey" came from when they had old cannons like ones used in the Civil War. The cannonballs were stacked in a pyramid formation, called a brass monkey. When it got extremely cold outside they would crack and break off... Thus the saying. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucous every two weeks otherwise it will digest itself. The Sanskrit word for "war" means "desire for more cows." A walla-walla scene is one where extras pretend to be talking in the background -- when they say "walla-walla" it looks like they are actually talking. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb. 101 Dalmatians and Peter Pan (Wendy) are the only two Disney cartoon features with both parents that are present and don't die throughout the movie. 'Stewardesses' is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand. The Baby Ruth candy bar was actually named after Grover Cleveland's baby daughter, Ruth. Armadillos have four babies at a time and they are always all the same sex. Armadillos are the only animal besides humans that can get leprosy. To escape the grip of a crocodile's jaws, push your thumbs into its eyeballs -- it will let you go instantly. Reindeer like to eat bananas. A group of unicorns is called a blessing. Twelve or more cows are known as a "flink." A group of frogs is called an army. A group of rhinos is called a crash. A group of kangaroos is called a mob. A group of whales is called a pod. A group of geese is called a gaggle. A group of ravens is called a murder. A group of officers is called a mess. A group of larks is called an exaltation. A group of owls is called a parliament. Physicist Murray Gell-Mann named the sub-atomic particles known as quarks for a random line in James Joyce, "Three quarks for Muster Mark!" Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie. The phrase "sleep tight" derives from the fact that early mattresses were filled with straw and held up with rope stretched across the bedframe. A tight sleep was a comfortable sleep. The phrase "three dog night" (attributed to Australian Aborigines) came about because on especially cold nights these nomadic people needed three dogs (dingos, actually) to keep from freezing.

CHRISTMAS 2011 BY LEO PONDER NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS (HO-HUM) NO MORE BRINGING HOMEWORK TO CHURCH Christmas was great. We mostly basked in warm candlelight (the power was off) sharing the love of a family, with our meager presents. My daughter (20) received a red Mustang convertible, from her fiancee' and they announced their wedding plans. Her fiancee slept over on the couch Christmas eve and I had a brand new 25" color T.V. wrapped the next morning. Of course they said it must have been Santa. My daughter’s fiancee is the only boy I know that I can't find one undesirable trait. He is polite, sensitive, and he gives me expensive presents. My son reached 18 yrs. old 5 days after Christmas(Dec. 30) I gave him an electric razor and explained how to cut the three chin hairs with one on, off click of the switch. I told him he didn’t need to send in the warranty card, it would probably outlast the manufacturer at that rate. My youngest daughter (14), against my misgivings, opened a personal pager and spent the day trading beeps with her best friend who received one too. I never realized you could get so excited over a beep.( unless ,I guess, you had a pacemaker) But she informed me that the pager had already proven it’s worth. Seems her best friend had seen my daughter’s boyfriend talking with another girl (a cheerleader, no less) “Sounds suspicious to me”, I said, trying to fork a juicy turkey leg directly behind my daughter on the counter. I missed. “Not suspicious, Guilty”, she screamed. “Guilty?” I asked “Of what, talking to a cheerleader? “Dad, my friend said he was laughing and moving his arms around like an idiot” I looked up from the huge plate of hot rolls that I had spied just to her left. “Laughing, animated hands, that’s entirely different. He’s been a bad boy” “No”, she said, “That’s where the beeper comes in. With every one here on the phone so much he couldn’t get through so he beeped me. We already made up.” “How’s that”, I asked. “He said it wasn’t him, my friend must have been mistaken” “Oh” was all I could manage as she ducked under my outstretched hand with the fork in it, revealing the largest coconut cream pie with meringue a foot tall, I had ever seen. I didn’t miss on that one. My son had talked his sister into letting him drive the new pop top two miles down the road to pick up Granny who was coming for Christmas dinner, with the top down of course. It was only snowing lightly. Every one had a big laugh on that one. Granny would have his skin. Ten minutes later he drove up, with a laughing frosty Granny bundled up like a Point Barrow Eskimo. Incredulously we asked how he had enticed her into that new fangled contraption. Her answer: (which restored my faith in a teenagers industriousness when it comes to cars and women) “He told me to think of it as an old time sleigh ride(which she had loved) and to think of the 400 horses under the hood as eight powerful reindeer, with him as Santa. Did you know he knows all Santa’s reindeer by name? But he kept saying “on” before each name.” “I loved it! I hope we can go for another sleigh ride”, said Granny with a twinkle not unlike Mrs. Claus. My Daughter ran out and zipped up the top on her sleigh. We sang Christmas carols and two full versions of “99 bottles of beer on the wall” (I don’t know how that happened) New Years, we ate food while refining our diet resolutions. Here are some more New Years resolutions we all made: Dad will stop following every one around going: Scratch my back No one will eat in a horizontal position No one will bring their homework to church (unless emergency) Mom will quit referring to us as “her little babies” (especially to dates) No more “Have you filled out an application, yet?” from Dad to our dates. The youngest will cut phone time to at least five hours No more using Dad’s electric razor for a dog trimmer The boy spender will pay back the girl saver her $18.00 this year for sure Dad will say “Sure” instead of “beg like a dog” for our allowance Allowances payable Saturdays only 7 A.M. sharp All A’s on report cards raised $10.00 again this year for a total of $50.00 ea. HAPPY NEW YEAR!